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hold yourself accountable will provide an additional source of motivation to
achieve your goals.
" Keep track of your progress. Use a notebook or calendar or set up a system on a
computer to record what you ve accomplished. If you d like to get more
involved in community activities, make a list of things you could do to achieve
that goal: Spend an hour at the recycling center, Call the Big Brother
program for information, Talk to the choir director about the rehearsal
schedule. Then check off these things as you do them. Take a look at your
accomplishments periodically and keep adding to the list. Re-evaluate your
goals and make changes as necessary to reflect your desired outcome.
" Don t look for quick fixes. Some experts suggest that people with low self-
esteem repeat a phrase such as I am terrific frequently. It can help to remind
yourself of your strengths. But just telling yourself that you re terrific may
4 Building Your Self-Esteem as an Adult
not help if the problem is that you have few friends or lack the skills needed to
get raises and promotions at work. In such cases, you ll also need to take some
concrete steps to reach your goals.
" Associate with positive people. You will feel better about yourself when you re
surrounded by happy people who have positive energy. Minimize interactions
with negative people. For example, try not to get dragged into long discussions
with a co-worker who continually criticizes you and others. Make a neutral
response, then say that you have to get back to work.
" Focus on your own unique set of strengths. Don t compare yourself with others.
Make a list of your positive qualities, strengths, and accomplishments. Read
over your list and add to it often.
" Develop a support system. In addition to building or maintaining a support
system of family and friends, some people find it helpful to talk with others
who want to increase their self-esteem too. Some communities have support
groups for people with low self-esteem. You may be able to find such groups
by calling your employee resource or employee assistance program, the
community-relations department of a hospital, looking up community service
phone numbers in the front of your local phone book, or searching the
Internet. Or consider joining a group for people who share some of your
specific concerns, such as an organization for people who are separated or
divorced. Such groups often have regular lectures or programs with titles like
Rebuilding Self-Esteem After Divorce.
Finally, try to take an upbeat approach to developing more faith in yourself.
Your self-esteem may be a little low, but you also have strengths that you can
build on and expand. If you make an effort to stay confident and enthusiastic --
and project these qualities to others -- you may begin to feel as good as you
sound.
© 2004 Ceridian Corporation. All rights reserved.
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